For the last 10 years or so I have always had doubts in my mind if being a mum and a career woman is even possible. Mind you, I set pretty high standards for myself and I speak from a Christian perspective.
I always felt that my time and attention was limited, and I could not be the best mum, wife or doctor that I could be. At best I’m ‘average’ in every area.
I look at women who dedicate their lives being a homemaker, making sure their husbands, children and home are kept in perfect order. I look at career women climbing up the corporate ladder or excelling in whatever line of work they do and family life is somewhat sacrificed. What about me? Can’t I have both? Can’t I have my cake and eat it too?
My search for answers has taken many months and it lies in the life manual, the living Word of God.
Proverbs 31:10
Epilogue: The Wife of Noble Character
10 [b]A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
13 She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up while it is still night;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her female servants.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
19 In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
20 She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
31 Honor her for all that her hands have done,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.
This is the description of a super woman, who seems to have everything under control. She wakes up early in the morning and prepares food for her family. She is diligent and hard working. She makes linen garments and sells them. With her earnings she considers land and buys it and plants a vineyard. She is a business woman and an entrepreneur. Her children call her blessed and her husband praises her.
Some believe that mums should stay at home with their children. I respect women who follow their calling to be homemakers. If their husbands can support the family with a single income then he indeed is a very capable man especially in today’s economic climate where the cost of living is high. I believe God calls women differently in different seasons of their lives.
As for me, I’ve never had that urge or mindset of being a stay-at-home mum. However, I do want to be the best mum that I can be. The Proverbs 31 woman is exactly who I aspire to emulate. She prioritises her family, manages the household, and also goes out to work and earns a living while serving her community. Most importantly, she is a woman who fears the Lord.
My long quest for answers has been revealed and I’ve finally found peace. I’ve realised that it is possible to have both family and career when priorities are rightly ordered.
So, to the woman who has wrestled the same questions I once did; yes, you can be a mum, build a family and pursue a career but the priority must be your husband and children first then your work. Peace follows from this order.